Candle bowls in funerals

I love using a candle as part of a service, and thankfully the crematoria I work at mostly, Emstrey in Shrewsbury and Aberystwyth, both allow this.

I have a selection of different glass vessels that I use for the candle, and I often nest the glass candle in a large glass bowl, lined with damp moss. This allows me to keep any flowers or plants fresh without using ugly oasis or worrying about spilling water. You only have a few minutes to set up and clear away at a crematorium, so speed is of the essence. I also have a very useful folding wooden table that looks nice and can be carried with one hand (the other hand is managing your script and candle bowl!)  

Each bowl is different and reflects the life and loves of the person whom we are honouring. I have used seas shells, red poppies, yellow roses, bright flowers and feathers, often with rosemary for remembrance. The process of planning and making the bowl is one I enjoy, it really brings the person to mind; on the eve of a funeral I find that especially moving.

The candle can be lit by a family member or members – I find it very emotional when two grandchildren come forward together; they often hold hands instinctively for support and the atmosphere in the room is charged in a powerful way.  We often extinguish the candle at committal, which can be a good way of marking a final goodbye, particularly if the curtains are left open.

Candles have been used for centuries as part of ceremonies, and I really appreciate the timelessness, poignancy and beauty of using real light and flame in a funeral ritual.